Saturdays are Lovely

especially today because my husband got up at 7:30 after Liam's feeding and watched him until 10pm during which time i slept the sleep of the dead. it was heavenly. i woke up refreshed & happy for the first time in - i can't remember when. not that i haven't been generally happy, how could i not be when i have a delicious little baby who makes me smile every time i look at him? i've just been having "those" days this week. the hard ones. Liam's first true "growth spurt" where he was feeding for an hour at a time, sucking me dry on both sides & still wanting more. this week was the first time we used formula. for 3 days in a row during the late night/midnight feeding. i'm not sure that it was a good idea b/c they caused Liam gas & i ended up more tired than if i'd just spent 2 hours feeding him on me. anyway... there are a lot of firsts lately but they got easier as the week progressed.

due to severe sleep deprevation we moved Liam into his crib thurday & it was the best thing we ever did. my mom says we did amazing lasting a month with him in his bassinette beside our bed. i didn't know that a month was a long time to keep him there so hearing that suprised me. we were told at the hospital to keep him beside us until he was 3 months or outgrew it. which goes to show that not everything the hospital says is right because as of thursday morning i was so sleep deprived (from waking up to Liam's every little noise) that i was literally shattered & trailing little pieces of my sanity behind me everywere i went. so i talked to my mom (read: broke down sobbing to my mom on the phone) while she talked me down from the ledge & made me realize that if i didn't get some sleep i'd be no good to anyone, esp. little Liam.

the move to the crib was decided. the first time i placed him in the crib i couldn't breathe i was so fearful to leave him. we didn't (and don't) use a baby monitor, which was hard for me. my mom, in her wisdom, assured me that i would "hear the baby cry" no matter how deep in sleep i was. she told me that if we were on the same floor, i could shut his door (or at least close it, but not latch it) & leave our bedroom door open & we would hear him (if we were on dif. floors i should use the monitor - & i do now).

it was hard to believe , but i knew something had to give & i needed to just trust her. after all, she raised 3 children & must know a thing or two about babies. her advice proved to be true, when in the middle of a deep dream (on thursday night) i turned to someone (in my dream) & said "there's a baby crying, someone should really get him" (or along those lines) before realizing (still in my dream) that it was MY baby crying. i woke up immediately & sure enough, Liam was hungry, frantic to be fed (& frantic really is the only word to describe my budda baby, who is now over 10 pounds & hopelessly desparate when his first hunger pains strike).

my mom was right. on both counts. Liam liked his crib just fine & slept in it like a champ. i got (and am still getting) the sleep i've needed so badly. i only hear the real cries now & not the stirrings, so am able to drift off faster & last longer in sleep; & i do hear him when he cries.

motherhood has taught me so much already, but the main thing it's taught me? my mom still has a lot to teach me & not since i was a child myself have i sucked up her knowledge so willingly. Or listened with the rapt attentiveness of someone who is needy for good, working advice.

thank you mom. thank you soooo much. you gave me my life back.

4 weeks

Liam is 4 weeks on thursday! its hard to believe, since every day that goes by is such a blur of feedings, burpings, changings & sleepings ... he's such a good baby, so easy to take care of. sure we've had some terrible nights, but what new parents don't? for the most part, he's waking up at 12, 4 & then around 7:30am so i really can't complain - averaging 6-7 hours sleep a night is NOT BAD at all!

we're having so much fun with him. everything he does makes us laugh. the noises he makes, the faces he makes, how he tries to head-butt us all the time. he is just so amazing & smarty pants rolled over by himself when my mom was down (during his 2nd week of life), he rolled from his tummy onto his back (not the other way around, which is the harder roll & takes a few months)

the only annoying thing about him is this strange "nose whistle" that he gets sometimes. its really loud & hard for me to sleep through. when it starts up, if he was a regular person, i'd just nudge him or elbow him to get him to roll over or point blank smack him & tell him to go blow his nose; but he can only sleep on his back & frankly, i'm so happy when he IS sleeping that there's no way i'm doing anything to wreck it, that i just have to suck it up & listen to the nose whisle for hours ... who knew that babies made so many strange sounds?

sometimes he'll squak like a bird, other times he'll screetch this really loud wailing sound, but usually just as he's about to go to sleep - its like a war crying for sleeping. he grunts, he farts (& its sooo cute, he farts so loud he scares himself awake), he burps big loud man burps, he coos & he loves to sit in his bouncy chair & stare at the walls. he's started focusing on parts of my face & he's learning to find his feet. he's started grabbing at things like my hair, or my bra strap. if i burp really loud while i'm feeding him he'll startle & stare at me & scrunch his face up like he's going to cry. he loves his car seat & car rides put him to sleep. his favorite place to fall asleep right now is on my chest - which i'm trying to just enjoy & not worry about (b/c the baby whisperer says thats a no'no) - after all, he's so little, why not make his world as compfy as i can for now, while i can?

i love my little guy so much that it makes me sad to think about having to go back to work in january... but the bills have to get paid somehow & on the bright side, i'll get to sleep regular people hours again, which will be nice. at least he'll get to be home with his daddy who adores him just as much as me.

Things I wish I'd known..

Liam is due today! how strange is that? if i was my SIL, i'd still have 2 weeks to go after my due date before meeting my little guy. i feel so lucky to have him already.

which leads me to the topic of today's post: Things I wish I'd known ... in general, about giving birth & the "afterlife"

Labour & Delivery & in the Hospital after:

1. don't bother packing more than 1 outfit to take to the hospital; you will live in the gowns they give you. pack only 1 nice shirt that you can breastfeed out of, for you to wear when you have guests. you will be sitting in bed the entire time so they won't know you're not wearing pants

2. getting an epidural does not mean that it will work the entire time you are in labour. if you can feel your stitches after the birth, ask for them to freeze you. it will hurt (the freezing) but not as much as the stitches) [or come to think of it, not nearly as much as the birth]

3. buy men's tighty-whitey undies from a discount store. wash them. bring them with you. they will save your life. you will not feel like wearing anything you will want to bring home or keep.

4. bring your own pads. bring a BIG bag.

5. babies have A LOT of mucus when they are born. no one prepared me for this. they will cough it up & it will sound like they are choking. sometimes they are choking. the nurses will give you an aspirtator, it will be become your best friend in the first few days. sleep with it right beside you and the baby. you will need it more than you know. don't let the mucus scare you. it terrified me, but it goes away in the first week & they won't die from it. its just mucus.

6. the urge to push feels just like having a huge BM that you can't control. it actually feels GOOD to push so give in to the feeling. don't be scared. if you tense up it just takes longer. just go with the urge. if people are yelling at you or counting & it bothers you, tell them to shut up. this is not the time to be meek or shy; just say it like it is. its the only time in your life you can say exactly what you want & no one will ever dare get mad at you for it. enjoy it.

7. if your hospital has long visiting hours (ours was from 12pm - 8pm) set a "time" when you'd like guests to come. for example: between 4-6pm. if you don't, you will get wave after wave after wave of guests & it will exhaust you, your DH & the baby. also, ask your guests to please call if they AREN'T going to come as expected, that way you might be able to find time to soak in the huge tub somewhere on your floor (ask the nurses about this, there is such a tub, they just don't advertise it)

8. don't weigh yourself right after you give birth. for some strange reason you'll only lose 10-15 pounds. its in the following days when you go home that the pounds will start to drop off

9. you are going to cry like a baby when the nurses make you use the washroom for the first time. it was almost as scary to me as giving birth. but don't worry, its not nearly as scary to use the toilet as you think its going to be. don't be afraid to #2. you have to do it sometime, might as well get it overwith while you're already in a hospital instead of alone at home right? besides, they won't let you go home until you've done it.

10. you are going to be so proud after you #2 you'll probably tell every nurse you see for the rest of the day. most nurses are used to this behavior, they will give you praise & a big smile. don't be embarassed. they understand how hard it was for you.

Going Home:

1. sleep when the baby sleeps.

2. sleep when the baby sleeps.

3. sleep when the baby sleeps.

4. lhave someone cut up everything that they possibly can in your fridge for you. including fruits, veggies, cheeses, etc. you are going to be so tired & so exhausted that you won't be able to cook a thing. at night, when you are feeding your baby, you will be starving & it will be hard to even make a piece of toast. if you have handy snacks already arranged in your fridge they will SAVE YOUR LIFE.

5. find time to take your sitz baths if you have stitches. just soaking in a tub for 5 mintues does your body & mind a lot of good.

6. the baby is going to sleep the most in the first week. don't get used to it & don't think that its going to be like that forever. it won't. every week that goes by they are going to stay awake longer & longer. don't be alarmed. its normal.

7. you are going to have killer night sweats & wake up soaked & shivering. keep a cozy hand towel right beside the bed to dry off & a change of PJ's close by. its completely normal & your bodies way of getting rid of excess water it stoared but didn't use during your L&D.

8. no matter how tired you and the baby are just remember: he has to sleep sometime & when he does, you get to sleep too

i'm sure i have lots more .. but thats all i have the energy for now. hopefully these things help someone out there expecting a baby soon.

over 7 hours of sleep!

i'm not kidding, i had over 7 hours of sleep last night! not in one big chunk mind, but a 3 hour period and two 2-hour periods; it was heavenly.

we had a visit from a public health nurse yesterday who weighed him & he's back up past his birth weight. she said he was a very sweet baby & we're lucky to have his temperment.

he has been doing great again. eating lots - like every 2-3 hours during the day & going for longer stretches at night. she told us we (meaning me) have to just "enjoy him more" - meaning, quit following the "books" to the letter & start just having fun with him.

so this morning we had a bath & then afterward, as i greased him up (his skin is super flaky from being a bit early; the dr. said he was "shedding it like a snake") using grapeseed oil, he layed on his tummy for some "tummy time" & then peed all over our ottoman.

ahhhh mommy bliss

one day old



newly born (alien eyes)



a few days old



one day old in the hospital blanket

I take it all back

he does not sleep great, he is fussy - or at least has been fussy two times in the past 24 hours when he was supposed to be going to sleep. i guess i should've held my tongue. shame on me for bragging. at least he's not crying or screaming, its more just full on fussiness like he can't get himself to sleep. not sure if we're overstimulating or not stimulating enough or maybe he needs more milk... so many questions...

(see? this just goes to show that every time i post about not having something happen [ie. stretch marks] it ends up happening right away [ie. stretch marks] ... coincidence? please...)

Liam is here!

wow this week has been topsy turvy sureal!

i'm having a hard time getting to spend any time online so will update soon

just wanted to let everyone know that we're doing really great. Liam is a dream baby; sleeps great, hardly ever fusses, eats like a pig & farts the whole time while doing it. we are very lucky. i have been getting between 6-8 hours of sleep a night & sometimes he sleeps in 4-5 hour chunks!

i know... lucky... i'm almost afraid that its too good to be true, but talking to his dr. today i was told that we've got a very "complacent" baby & his personality is probably going to stay pretty chill - which was great to hear

time of birth: 10:50pm
birth weight: 7.06 pounds
length: 20 inches

as of today he is back to his full birth weight & his umbilical cord has already fallen off.
go kiddo! i'm so proud.

xxx