happy 5 months little man

my big boy is 5 months old today. its so amazing. where has the time gone? we celebrated this morning by trying carrotts for breakfast, which he loved - of course - my chunky monkey seems to like eating pretty much anything :) we've completely weaned the swaddle & the soother & are sleeping so much better for it. he's only waking once during the night to eat which is heavenly. he's gaining so much mobility in his arms & legs & can roll from back to tummy to back (but only on his left side). he puts everything in his mouth. he watches Diesel & tries to grab his ears & tail. he fidgets so much while he's BF'ing that i have to feed him in his room where its quiet & there are less distractions... still, he plays with my hair, fiddles with my clothes, grabs at my earrings & touches my face - its adorable. he is obsessed with mouths. he's also started growling.


what is that?? from the "eating camera" series


jolly jigging - he doesn't really jump yet, just does a little jig with his feet


he loves his teething book!


relaxing with daddy (who is SO HOT in this pic)

first time eating pears

i want to eat the camera

happy news

okay HAPPY NEWS in a happy font... two of my coworkers are preggos!! both Natalie & Lavanya are expecting babies in July. YAY! congratulations!! love love you both xxx

which got me thinking that i need to record some new "firsts", things that liam has just started doing:

• sleeping 7 hours straight between feeds (stay away curse!!)
  
• grabbing at my face, trying to put his fingers in my mouth
• pulling my hair (big ouch)
  
• going bright red in the face & grunting when he poops
• sleeping on his tummy comfortably (he rolls onto it no matter how many time we put him on his back) with arms sticking out of the bars of his crib
  
• a bit of jumping in his jolly jumper. he's still figuring it out
• gurgling
  
• laughing really hard when i pretent to tickle him (like he knows the real tickle is coming)
• trying to roll off his change table (that belt is coming in handy now)
• sitting in his bebe pod (altho he still spits up every time; guess his tummy has to catch up still)
• eating sweet potatoes with prune & probiotics for 2 weeks now! 2 times a day

yesterday to try & get myself out of my recent 'funk' (read: black mood, moping, feeling sorry for myself, missing work, friends, going out, yoga - a lot) i cracked open the baby book Mishky bought us for our baby shower & started working on it. by the time i'd spent an hour taping pictures & memorabilia & writing down all of his "firsts" i felt SO MUCH BETTER :) it made me remember just how quickly time is passing, how much we've accomplished as parents (i love you shaun, so much ;) & how this time is just so short & so precious.

collective "awwwwwww, isn't that sweet"

also

liam is going to be 5 months old next week! amazing

i miss

using my brain for things non-mommy related. i feel sometimes like wearing a sign when i go out in public that says "there is so much more to me than this". there is nothing wrong with being a mommy, i just miss the challenges of work & feel like i'm often dismissed as 'just another mom' pushing a pram. i wish there was some way to be able to work, yet stay home with my little guy at the same time. lately i miss wearing suits, heels, fancy blouses, nice sweaters, carrying file folders, writing understanding of statements of requirements, editing resumes, designing consultant/client material. i miss the hustle bustle of deadlines, afternoon meetings, joking with co-workers, knowing that i am contributing something important to my company & therefore contributing to my own sense of self worth. this mommy lark is such a hard job & its soooo thankless. not that i'm looking for praise, i'm not. it would just be so nice to do something i know i'm good at... b/c half the time, to be completely honest, i feel pretty lost raising liam. i wonder all the time if i'm doing things 'right' & worry that i'm going to somehow make a mistake that will mess him up emotionally or mentally.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, i love being a mom more than anything in the world, but lately i really find myself missing work & the challenges my job brings. putting it simply, i would love to get out of the house & use my brain again.

regression

the dreaded regression hit us last night with more wakeups than i care to remember. but i knew this might happen, as seems to be the trend when eliminating a bad habit. if today is anything to go by, then hopefully tonight will be better b/c naps have been very good so far. over all things are still going pretty smoothly.

we went to a mommy group yesterday & it was amazing to see how much the little babies have changed. it'd been since november that i'd seen most of these mommies & the babies, wow! sitting up, eating solids, rolling over, grasping objects, so much progress, its so great to see b/c it lets me imagine where liam will be in just a few short months. plus its good to get out of the house & spend some time with mommies.

my good friend Jule called me last night & we laughed hard for close to an hour swapping stories about our babies & our lives. honestly i laughed so hard i cried. Jule has become a really close friend in the past year & while i love the times we talk it makes me sad wishing she lived closer so we could see each other in person. she did tell me good news last night, that she's coming for a visit in march!! very exciting!

again

last night was amazing!! for the past 2 nights liam's been waking up at 2:30, falling back asleep w/in 5 mins of us going in to settle him, then waking between 4-5am for a feed & then sleeping straight through until we wake him up. its been heavenly. i'm almost scared to write this b/c we all know about "the curse" but i figure there really is nothing left to be cursed with... no swaddle.. no pacifier... he pooped again yesterday so he's starting to average every other day blow outs... i am just so happy to have our happy baby back! we haven't slept this well since november :) & putting him to bed is a dream, shaun didn't have to do one pu/pd last night - he just set him in his crib awake, walked away, we listened to him chatting to himself over the monitor & within 5 mins he was asleep. amazing!!! so to recap, day 1 - 40 mins; day 2 - 10 mins; day 3 - 5 mins ... it'll be interesting to see how today (day 4) goes.
yay!! i'm just so proud of how adaptable my little bunny is :)

soother update

so far so good. the last two nights we've had only 1 wakeup not related to eating. going from 8-10 thats excellent progress :) he seems so much happier since we've ditched the soother. except for bedtimes its pretty easy to get him to sleep. at bedtime he sort of remembers he's not getting it & puts up a bit of a struggle but we've been seeing progress using pick up/put down method. its taking progressively smaller & smaller amounts of time for him to fall asleep. 40 minutes the first night, 10 minutes last night & naps have gone to under a minute. i'm so proud of our monkey!

cheeky

we went for a walk today. it was colder than it seemed. i wore liam facing out, he loved looking at .. well, everything. i was worried he would be too cold, but he did just fine. look at these apple cheeks :)

he wore the sweater & hat my sister made him for xmas. adorable. thanks again kim

small victory & a big set back

small victory: we have poop! on his own! we started probiotics earlier this week & have been giving them to him 2x's a day to promote natural digestive health & he finally gave us a huge poop last night & another big one this morning. i'm so relieved. it means we don't have to change his diet. yay! its also the first time in 3 weeks he's pooped on his own. such a relief to know he can do it.

big set back: he is 100% addicted to the paci. last night he was up every single hour & sometimes within half an hour of being plugged back in. i am DONE WITH IT. as of today i am hiding every single soother we have & breaking him of this habit. you must be thinking "is she insane?? she must be so tired! its going to be so hard!!" & you're right, i AM so tired, it IS going to be so hard... but it can't be harder than getting up 50 times a night to plug him back in & i'm already exhausted so whats another couple of nights?? i've been reading on the BW website "swaddle & paci success stories" & its giving me hope. when i am ready to cave & i know i will be, i will come onto the board & re-read the stories & gain inspiration & hope.

i can do it! so can Liam! we'll come out of this stronger & better for it.

wish us luck!!!

i can't figure out

whether we are going through a growth spurt or a pacifier addiction or a digestive issue & i'm not sure how to proceed. he's been having terrible sleeps & is unable to go longer than 2.5 hours without waking up (he used to go +6 hours... ahhh i miss those golden days). most times it seems like he's waking up for food, but there are times when its for the pacifier or its for gas ... i really don't know how to move forward, i feel stuck. i wish there was a consultant i could bring into our home to examine whats going on & give us guidance.

toys

so i'm in the kitchen making toast while liam plays on his playmat & suddenly he starts sqacking & shrieking like he's really freaked out about something. i come running ... & this is what i see ...



cute kid playing on a playmat right? look closer ....



fat wrist with hands holding a toy, big deal ... but wait ...



his wrist is through the toy! his hand is stuck. no wonder why he was so irritated.

you

are such a funny little boy. i love your chatterbox ways. not only are you goo'ing & ahh'ing but you're blowing bubbles, grunting, growling & dribbling all over the place. you are happiest when 'talking' to me or your dad. you love it when we imitate your 'words' & the faces you make. sometimes you get scared when i cough while you're feeding. your face makes that adorable upside down smile & you start to snuffle like you're going to cry. when i smile at your sad face it makes you smile back at me. sometimes you are very shy around other people & you will smile at them then duck your head down to one side like you are shy about your smile. when you fart you become afraid. you get frustrated when a toy that you want it out of your reach & you squack like a birdie to get my attention so i can help you. when you are tired you rub your eyes with both fists & lay your head on my shoulder & burrow your face into my neck. it is adorable. in the middle of the night you eat without waking up & then you sit on my lap in a haze of sleep. i love the way the back of your neck smells. i love how you hold my thumb or index finger close to your face while you are eating. i love how you smile wide when i look at you or say your name. you are the best thing in my life.

Blarg!!

so liam hasn't pooped since i gave him the suppository, no clue whats going on. i've tried apple juice too like i normally do but nothing is working. he's having really noxious gas farts that stink so bad, but then nothing comes out... its frustrating. he's also been waking up between 8-10 times a night since thursday, i think it's b/c he's in pain trying to pass his poops. ARRRGGGG!!!! we are so tired from this!! when is it going to get better??!!

:(

jolly jumping!!

updates

the swaddle has been officially ditched since last saturday. its going pretty well for the most part. the only thing holding us back from a good nights sleep seems to be the pacifier, which i'm afraid to tackle yet only b/c we're not getting a full nights sleep. i have to keep reminding myself that its normal for BF babies at this age to get up to eat once a night, i just wish he wasn't getting up 3 other times a night crying for his paci... oh well...

in other news, following the suppository day, i've decided to stop feeding solids for a while. i'm a bit concerned b/c he still isn't back to pooping properly (for those readers who aren't mommies, i'm sorry to be talking about poop so much, its just that my days really do revolve around poop & boob. its like being a 4 year old again except i'm allowed to have "potty mouth"). anyway, i think its best to just up the time spent on milk feeds & try to push through until he's ready for solids.

mr. liam is now rolling over consistently from his back to his tummy. he hasn't quite got the hang of rolling the other way yet (from his tummy to his back). this opens up a world of possibilities for him. lately when i check on him while he's sleeping, he's adopted a sideways position with one or more feet sticking out between the bars, cuddling his lovey, so cute!!! he gets really annoyed though when he rolls over all the way & can't figure out how to roll himself back.

edited: to add that my boss shannon, a wealth of mommy knowledge & a good friend, told me around 5 months the babies learn to put their own paci's back in. i'm hoping liam learns for himself & since 5 months is next month i might just wait to see what happens.

also wanted to give a shout out of support to Nat. she knows what for. i'm thinking of you honey & sending you the biggest most positive vibes i have. much love lady xxx

mr.plow

why did you need to move the piles of snow from one of the Mandarin restaurant parking lot to the other end? in the middle of the night? from 2am-5am?

oh cruel plow, what a sick joke. could my family be any more tired today? i think not!

subject: yucky

i just finished writing a message on facebook to my friend Mishky about my day. i've never recycled a message before but this is an unusal case. re-reading said message, i realized i need to have it immortalized on my blog for all time because it was just so... so... too hard to explain. read on:

"subject: this morning
i had to give liam an enima. i had to shove a suppository up his little ass, then hold his butt cheeks together while he cried. then we had a giant poop explosion. it was sad (the crying), disgusting (the poop) and traumatizing (i violated my kids ass)

OMG too much

xxxx"

small set backs

regression is a normal part of progression - at least for babies - which is why i'm trying to just accept that we're going to have a couple good nights, then a couple bad before they turn good again.

last night wasn't bad compared to all of december, but it was bad compared to the night before. he was up at 2:30, 3:30 then 4:30 to feed, then 6:50, then up for the day at 7 - thankfully shaun took the 2:30 wakeup & i honestly don't know if there were more before that one b/c i was sleeping.

yesterday morning nap was great, solid 2 hours with a bit of mantra crying at the 45 min mark. the afternoon nap was horrific!! we were out grocery shopping for half of it when he woke up. we got home, i transferred him to the crib & nothing we did would make him go back to sleep. finally, when it was time for him to get up, he fell asleep so we just went with it & got about an hour out of him. erg... i'm starting to see that my baby does not like enjoy afternoon outings... there is a pattern emerging that if i do outings in the morning he is good for naps the rest of the day. however if i drag him out in the afternoon it all falls to pieces. hmm... i need to keep reminding myself that i'm home to take care of Liam, so he should be leading our routine, not i

success

we ditched the swaddle last night for the first time. it went okay. he went down for bed at 7, slept for 45 minutes, then started to cry, fuss & whine until 9pm when it was time to feed. then he slept from 9 - 2 straight, cried for his paci - then slept until 3 when it was time for a feeding. the real miracle is that he went from 3-7:30 straight & i had to wake him up this morning to get things started at 7:30 for the day.

miracle!! we should've done this a long time ago. he really seemed to sleep so much better. also, tip for anyone about to try this, put socks on his hands if your mittens don't fit, that way he'll rub his face/eyes/head with the sock instead of those claw-like finger nails.

Yawn

after great naps all day yesterday he was up to old tricks again last night, getting out the swaddle every 1-2 hours to cry his heart out because his hands scared him. today is a bit blurry.

but naps are going great!!! i've introduced a 'lovie' - a small, soft security blanket he can't suffocate on to go with his naps since he seems to enjoy rubbing his face against something when he's trying to sleep. here are some pics of my little guy in his new nap-time (soon to be nighttime as well) get up - the sleep sack, which keeps him warm w/o smothering him.




PS. don't mind the rash on his face, he reacts really badly to the cold, dry air. when we were in mexico it cleared right up & was back within days of being back in ontario. we've tried everything to get rid of it... calidou lotion, baby soap, grownup soap, aveeno baby lotion, baby oil, grapeseed oil, regular baby lotion, vaseline... any suggestions??? his dr. said he would just have to outgrow it but would probably suffer from sensitive skin his whole life. which makes sense b/c i've always had sensitive skin, but not like Shaun who gets out of the shower & is all blotchy red... guess thats what happens when you have two parents with Irish skin in them

sleep training

now that we're back home & sort of sleeping at night again (hey, i'll take 6 or 7 hours anyday of the 2-3 we were getting all last month) .. anyway since we're back on track & he's 4 months old its high time we started sleep training

i have 2 goals total; 1. break the swaddle, 2. break the paci addiction

why? glad you asked!!

the swaddle - altho experts recommend swaddling up to 8 months or beyond if the baby needs it, we need to remember that all babies are different. liam is a strong, very big baby. right? we've had nothing but swaddle problems since month 2 & we even bought a special swaddle with velcro to keep his arms in. unfortunately this isn't working anymore because my teeny houdini can figure out how to get his arms out. so the problem we're having is this: in the middle of the night he is waking himself up by having his arms mashed up against his face. this causes him to arch his back. when he arches his back in frustration he's started flipping over onto his tummy. he then screams bloody murder & i am terrified that he will suffocate (since his arms aren't free to move around & give him the air flow he needs).

the plan of attack - day time naps are now no longer swaddled, AT ALL. its hard for me to remember to put him down without it, but he seems to be adapting well. all of his naps yesterday were swaddle free & today he's just gone down with about 10 minutes of fussing. i've decided, during the day at least, to let him "work it out himself" & fuss if he wants to fuss or cry if he needs to cry to get to sleep. this seems like the best way for him to learn to soothe himself, which brings me to the pacifier...

the pacifier - liam is an addict. its like silicone crack for him. he doesn't need it at all when he's awake, but if he doesn't have it to suck to go to sleep all hell breaks loose. again, a lot of ppl don't understand why i would want to break him of this when they struggled so long to get their kids to take one. here's my reason: when it is the middle of the night & he wakes up, he needs it to go back to sleep. once he's soothed & drifting off it falls out & he continues on to dream land. great. however, when he wakes up, he starts crying for "someone to come plug me back in!!!!"

the plan of attack - learn to self soothe without the paci. during the day he can't keep his thumb out of his mouth now that he's found it. at night however he can't seem to figure out how to get it into his mouth. instead he scratches his forehead & pokes himself in the eye. so i'm trying to get him to figure it all out by only offering him the paci one time before falling asleep for naps. i put it in his mouth while he sits on my lap & we read 2 stories to calm him before nap time. i then put him in his crib with the paci in & then i walk to the back of his room & wait. lately its been falling out, he's been trying to find his thumb, fussing, crying a little, then going to sleep.

so, all in all, we're making progress. its tough - for sure - its so tough, but its important too. liam needs to learn to understand to make himself feel better, he can't only rely on external objects for that. he is already so good at falling asleep on his own, that i'm going to guess that within 2 weeks we'll have both the swaddle & the paci addiction beaten.

wish us luck!!!

Happy New Year!!

so this was the year of the end of "eras"... here's why. in no particular order are the ends of:

1. our joint single-dom era since we married in mexico on feb.8.07 after 5 years of dating

2. our joint "renter" era since immediately after we got married we purchased the townhouse we were renting

3. our "car" era since finding out we were preggo we realized we'd never fit a carseat into the Rio5 & purchased our super fine Rondo, which is billed as an "urban utility vehicle"

4. my "selfish" era, since becoming a mom its all about Liam now & not about me anymore, whatsoever. at all.

5. shaun's "veteran affairs" era since he's starting his new job at DND january 2, oh wait, thats tomorrow!!

so, in summary, 2007 brought us a pregnancy, a wedding, a new house, a new car, a new baby & a new job. we sure were busy!!

Happy New Year to my loyal readers, you know who are ... with special shout outs this year to some deserving friends & family including Andrea, her unborn little girl, Ethan & Jimmy; Aunt Connie; Aunt Linda; Sarah A. in BC; Jule & Owen; Wendy, Neah, Azmamma & all my girls over at September Mommies; Tracy A. & Keisha; Warren, baby Jack & Jess; Nick Risi in Brantford; Meg & Astar (can't wait for your wedding June 20th!!); Aunt Wendy & Uncle Wayne; Uncle Roger & Aunt Tammy; Shannon & Avery; my crew over at work Shannon & Natalie; Robert & Monia in Montreal; Stig (i know you're a loyal reader!), Carey & Svea; Mom, Dad, Kim, Brad, Bex, Ben; Peter Miles; Jesta; Mike, Chris, Sam & Cindy; Shannon Twiggy; Aunt Terry & Uncle Gord; Mishky & her son Kynan; & last but not least by any means Mom & Dad Feagan without whom half of things we accomplished on our "era" list would not have been possible. I love you all so much!!!! xxxxx thanks for making 2007 so memorable