how is...

jenny? on a personal note: i'm having trouble processing everything thats been happening. because i'm sick my energy is low & its hard to get back into the swing of things. laundry is piling up, the house is a mess (yes, even the toilets have that lovely pink ring which reminds me of college days, specifically the time i lived for the summer in a frat house with 5 dudes), the dog is neglected, our marriage is pretty neglected too ... so are my personal relationships; which is all understandable b/c i'm busy taking care of my sick baby ... BUT ... its all starting to get to me. i know i have to be strong, that i'm the mom now & don't have the luxury of being weak (thanks for the pep talk Moe it did me worlds of good) but i am starting to wonder when we are going to get the down time we deserve... come on world, we need a break!! let us get better before you throw another thing at us - please!!!

*****

congratulations to my darling old friend Sarah A & our good friend Marco E on their engagement!!! Marco asked Sarah to marry him after her birthday dinner; which is so sweet. it reminds me of when shaun proposed the night before my birthday, it was the best birthday ever. still is! i'm sure Sarah is feeling the same things i was which gives me the warm fuzzies for her - a toast to the happy couple: Enjoy this special time, it goes by so fast but is so much fun!
ps. hi marco :)

not again...

we just got back from the dr's office

after noticing large amounts of mucous in liam's stools they asked us to come in

he might have C-difficile; a severe infection of the colon

we have to take stool samples to a lab tomorrow & wait for the monday for the results

if he gets worse we have to go back to CHEO
i DO NOT want to go back there!!!

just having to get him dressed tonight & knowing we were going to the dr really scared us both (me & shaun) it was just like last friday when we took him to the dr thinking they would give us antibotic & instead we had to go to CHEO.. then at CHEO thinking they would give us antibotic & finding out we weren't leaving... it just hadn't occured to us that we might not be going home... we were in denial about it...

this stinks. my baby is sick this really really stinks.

it is

so good to be home!! SO GOOD!!!!

liam is back to sleeping through the night which is amazing. he can't last that long being awake between naps during the day but thats okay. he's doing so well, i'm really proud of him. actually we're all in high spirits. it sort of feels strange to be home because i keep having this feeling like i should be worried about something, almost like i keep expecting the phone to ring & be told we have to go back to CHEO. my mommy friends say this is normal & to give it time to get my head wrapped around what we just went through... i guess this rings true, we've all been through a pretty traumatic experience. thank goodness we're home. i've missed being here so much.

little LG is bouncing in his jolly jumper as i type this. seeing the smile on his face is amazing. he's such a happy little guy. i am so proud of him for pulling through this sickness like a champ. once he starts eating like normal again i will be less worried about him; right now he's refusing most of his solids but this is normal from the research i've done. we read the 'side effects' of all the different medications he's been on & nausea is the one that keeps popping up, so we're not suprised. just offering him lots of breast milk; for those who heard about my supply problems [i dropped from 6-8oz per breast down to 1 or .5oz] it seems to have recovered quickly & i'm already back to normal even with my head cold!! luckily he's still eating the sweeter solids like carrots & peaches & pears which he gobbles up so i'm not concerned. if he wasn't eating enough during the day you can be sure he'd be waking at night to make up missed calories; so we must be doing something right :)

it is soooo good to be home

update

as most of you know we got home from the hospital last night. liam is in good spirits but still sick - he slept really good last night & had a great appetite this morning which is heartwarming. he's happily playing right now.

he is taking amoxicillian 3x a day for 11 days, then he starts another drug 1x a day for a month. his urine reflux test is on tuesday March 4th. they will be inserting die into his bladder through a cathetar & then taking xtrays to see where the urine travels (ie. how far into the kidneys its going...)

on monday liam had an ultrasound which we showed a kidney infection (the cause of the UTI). what i learned yesterday is that the tubes leading from his bladder to the infected kidney are swollen & the valve that is supposed to keep his urine in his bladder is not functioning properly. the dr was very kind in explaining that this does indicate he has reflux, however they believe his case is mild. in her terms, only a small percentage of cases need to be operated on & she doesn't think liam falls into that category. however they do believe that Liam will need to take an oral medication every day until he outgrows the urine reflux in order to protect his kidneys. he might be on this medication for a year.

we've been asked to follow up with Liam's dr next week & to watch him closely for any relapse in fever - which sometimes happens. he is supposed to sleep & eat as much as he wants for the next month until he is finished his 2 antibiotics. we won't be taking him anywhere for while (& certainly no where that he might pick up something else [grocery shopping, malls, restaurants, etc.) but are more than happy to welcome visitors as long as they are healthy.

thanks for all your support during this tough time. especially thanks to Moe Moe who stayed with us in hospital taking care of Liam. we feel so blessed to have such a loving, supportive family.

CHEO

just a quick posting to let you all know that we've been at CHEO since friday. liam is very sick with a kidney infection. we probably won't be discharged before weds. its been a terrible ordeal for all of us, especially little liam who was in so much pain & suffering horribly. thankfully his fever has finally broken & he is starting to seem more like his old self. we have some more tests to go through & once we get the results we'll know for sure if he has urine reflux, which could be the cause of the infected kidney. if its not urine reflux then its the work of a nasty bug. we'll know more soon & i'll update when i can.
xx

sickie

liam is sick. he has had a 104 degree fever since around midnight weds night. we've been giving him motrin & encouraging him to nurse as much as he wants. he's sleeping a lot & very cranky when he's awake (& only wants to be on me, held by me, rocked my me, i seem to be the only one who can calm him, which makes sense b/c don't we all want our mommies when we're sickies? [i know i did & still do sometimes])

ah my poor little man, i wish i knew what to do to give him some relief... :(

omygoodness

leaving the lights on at night cause a higher risk for breast cancer??

what do we think of this study?

cutie

we went for a quick walk yesterday b/c it was -14 with wind chill. we're getting lots of good use out of the sweater/hat combo my sister Kim knitted him for christmas. he loves waving his arms around when he wears the sweater, i think its b/c the sleeves take on a bell shape which give them movement.


he looks so adorable bundled up


new sippy cup, he really likes this one. it comes with 2 different nipples, one like a bottle & one more like a historical sippy. right now he's using the bottle nipple b/c it has a teether nubs all over it. i bet they feel good on his gums.


and it didn't take him long to figure out how to work it


this morning he started screetching when he saw it & wouldn't stop until i gave it to him. when i took it away to feed him breakfast he was irritated & kept trying to reach for it. i had to move the sippy onto the table behind him so he couldn't see it & even then he kept arching his back & craning his neck looking for it. so cute.

fun stuff

liam with tracy


examining the camera cord


playing around


eating breakfast (he likes to play with the spoon after)


first time in his big boy high chair

clothes

liam has just started noticing clothes. yesterday i dressed him in a striped shirt & he stared at his arm, lifting it up, then out, then in again for a closer look, then back out again. he touched his left sleeve with his right hand, then tried to eat the sleeve of his shirt. i could see him trying to figure it all out. he's always noticed the clothes i wear (for instance, i have a shirt with skulls on it that he loves to stare at) but recently he's started touching my clothes, examining them, petting the fabric. while i'm carrying him he'll lean down & put his open mouth on my shoulder, licking the fabric. then he'll pull away & stare at it. then lean down & lick it again, pull away & stare, etc. over & over & over. its cute, but sort of gross too b/c all my shirt shoulders become soaked with spit.

kook & 2nd toofer

liam you're such a nut, i love how you try to suck your thumb while you're breast feeding - just this morning i look down & you have both my boob & your finger in your mouth.

too cute

also you popped your second tooth yesterday, you are super grumpy today, it must hurt so much but you're being a good boy about it

why?

because you're been sleeping through the night for 4 nights in a row, even through the pain! what a rock star!! (in bed at 7, dreamfeed at 11, then sleeps through till 7am - heaven!)

although daytime naps have been pretty terrible, you're getting about 2.5 hours of daytime sleep instead of the recommended 4-5 hours; but still, you're sleeping at night, so we don't mind a couple grumpy days

depressing

since deciding to go back to work in August instead of September, shaun & i have started talking about what kind of childcare services we'll need to fit our lifestyle (considering we have one car, shaun works in Gatineau, Quebec & i work really close to our house, both of us have deadline oriented jobs & we're both required to do overtime when necessary). do we get a nanny? do we utilized a school? do we place Liam in a home? i've started doing some research & its making me so depressed i can't keep looking.

i just can't imagine having to PAY someone else to look after Liam when its all i want to do. if we could afford to have me stay home i don't think i would work again until he was in school. his childhood is just so short & i love every minute of being with him...

but this is the kicker: it is so HARD being a caregiver. i've taken 6 years of school (college & university), helped start up 2 magazines, worked for 3 competing businesses in the IT staffing industry, helped to manage the deadlines & content for numerous multi-million dollar proposals ... & yet, thats childsplay (no pun intented) compared to how difficult raising a child really is. being a mom is hands-down the hardest job i've ever had, its more work than my BA & it leaves me exhausted every night so that i barely make it to bed before i pass out cold (funny how i used to pass out from too many cocktails... times sure have changed)

my point is this: even though being a parent or caregiver is the HARDEST job in the whole world, i wouldn't change it for anything & if i could afford to stay home, i would. in a heartbeat.

Liam i hope you will someday understand how much i love you & how hard it is for mommy to think about paying someone else to get to kiss your boo-boos, cuddle you before naps, teach you new tricks & help you grow up into the amazing little boy i know you'll become. it honestly breaks my heart.

the tooth & first time eating peas

mr. first tooth!


isn't it adorable?? so tiny! but he's learned he can bite with it. ouch!


first time eating peas. he really liked them..


even though mommy thinks they're gross.

Andrea

my dear friend of 16 or so years. you are so loved. i can see your smile through the phone. talking to you brings me back to valley heights, slumber parties, friday the 13th, handcuffs, car accidents, lazy days at the beach, the trap, your hot-tub, the time we danced to Alanis in your bedroom across from the full length mirrors on your closet, 'like omg', clueless. when we lived together in 2000 with Bex, how i met shaun right after you left, that mug you made me for christmas (with the photos in it), your appartment down the street when we lived in the ghetto on Beausolei you shared with emma. haha emma. hahahaa!

i love you i love you i love you & i miss you so much. its hard that we're not a part of each other's every day lives. it would be better to hop in the car & see you, laugh with you, talk to your yummy little boy ethan, get to know jimmy.

congratulations on your sweet baby girl Taylor who i'm sure is just as beautiful as her mommy
xxx

he finally

got the hang of it. i can't believe how lucky i am to get to play with my little man every single day

Year 1

Happy Anniversary!!! one year ago today we got married in mexico. amazing to think what one year has brought us. i have enjoyed every single minute of being married to Shaun & i'd do it all over again in a second. tonight we're going to Moxy's for dinner to celebrate & my wonderful MIL Maureen is coming over to babysit Liam. i can't wait to have a night out with my hubby sans baby.

there is other cause for celebration: Liam slept through the night last night! he went to bed at 7, dream feed at 11 & then not a peep all night long. i had to wake him up at 7 this morning to start our day. i know this is probably a one-off, but i don't care! just knowing that he can do it has really raised my spirits... it feels like sleeping through is just around the corner.

it was literally the BEST anniversary present in the whole world.

things my brain thinks

it said to me today: "lets make a revised earring holder since the last one ran out of room"

so i grabbed glue gun, canvas, fabric, pins, earrings & 1/2 hr later have this (see below) hanging in my bathroom

taaa daaa

(it looks much prettier IRL)



thanks for the idea Aunt Linda!

big dump #3

amazingly, just when i thought we couldn't possibly get more snow, we did! its getting a bit silly to be honest... i never go outside anymore, the only adults i talk to in person are Shaun, Meg, Carey & Shannon; i'm so lonely i'm literally addicted to the internet when Liam is napping (i can't even bring myself to do laundry, dishes, cleaning b/c i'm just SO SICK of the same routine over & over); i really need to get out!!! i am so stir crazy that i jump all over Shaun the second he walks in the door, poor guy. this winter has been so cold & so snowy, is it every going to end??


view from our balcony, normally this is all green


the blue toy (above) he can fit the whole thing in his mouth!


he loves chewing on this one too


between daddy's legs... we'll look back on this someday & laugh about how tiny he is here

double stuff

mr. chubbs has started eating twice his previous portion sizes & with the 6 month growth spurt looming i have no problem with that, b/c even though we've been feeding 3 meals a day for about a week Liam has still seemed hungry after. talking about it with Shaun, he had the brilliant idea to mix Liam's solids with forumla instead of water - which would create a "richer" paste for the big little guy, giving him more calories at each meal. what a great idea!! why use water when we can use formula? how come i didn't think of that?

the bottle. urg, the bottle. Liam will not take a bottle. we've tried & tried. granted i haven't tried the "starve baby until they take a bottle" approach b/c i am terrified of what that will do for nightwakings (if he's missing out on calories during the day, he'll make them up at night)... but we've tried offering it to him over & over & over again. talking it over, we decided to give up on the bottle idea & move right to a sippy. so for the past few days i've been giving Liam a sippy cup to play with while Shaun & i eat dinner in front of him. he watches us eating, mimics chewing, sees us drinking, then picks up his cup & tries to imitate us. its so interesting to watch. after another week or so of doing this i'll start putting forumla into the cup, hoping that he might drink a little of it.

go Liam go! you're getting so big!!

too funny

i just pilfered this link off a friend's blog, its too funny!! watch Stewie from family guy try to kick the breast milk addiction

http://breastfeeding.blog.motherwear.com/2008/01/stewies-weaning.html

here is a picture of liam bundled up for grocery shopping yesterday. we ran into our friends Rick & Carole who had a baby girl Rachael about 4 months ago, it was our first time meeting Rach & she is adorable!!! i as so excited to hook up with Carole especially since we just discovered we live down the street from each other. how perfect is that? so perfect.


doesn't he look cozy?


see Liam peeking out?


isn't he a cutie?? mr. adorable

chatterbox

its obvious to me now that the wakeups are teething related. i'm such a clueless first time mom :) we're all pretty tired today, but trucking along. ottawa had a massive snow storm last night & we got about 30cm's of snow. every time i look outside i think "remember to get some pictures of that for liam when he's older" b/c this winter has been one of the worst i've experienced since moving here 10 years ago. wow... 10 years...

here's a video of our little talker, enjoy

first tooth!!

liam cut his first tooth today! it wasn't there yesterday, but its there today. this little teeny white slash along his front bottom. its the lower right tooth & its there. its tiny, but its there.

oh my big guy.. you're growing up so fast. its making me all sniffly

grumble

i am so tired today, little man was up 5 times last night - 5 times!! a mommy friend of mine, Wendy, encouraged me to keep a "log" of the solids Liam eats.. so i've been keeping a 'liam solids' calendar which details his food intake, poops & sleeping patterns. (i know that sounds incredibly anal, but its shown me a lot about my little man. for example, he poops every other day & then three times in one day. he sleeps better if he gets his morning solids before 9am... stuff like that) okay so reviewing his calendar has shown me that his sleep disruptions coincide with the introduction of carrots.. therefore, bye-bye carrots! we'll try today with just pears & sweet potatoes & see if that helps tonight.

yeah, i am really missing the 7 hours i was getting just days ago. oh well, "this too shall pass"...